Political economists continue to imagine the twentieth century in terms of three interlocking transformations: the neoclassical revolution in economics, the political triumph of neoliberalism, and the financialisation of the world economy. In his new book, The Sexual Economy of Capitalism, Noam Yuran tells a completely different story, identifying an obscene financial kernel already present at the dawn of modern capitalism and tracing the effects of its later blooming across a wide range of contemporary settings. In this essay, I develop an exaggerated version of Yuran’s narrative, drawing particular attention to the theoretical and philosophical implications of an obscene perspective on financial life today.